The moon is a very important symbol to me. Growing up, my parents were big believers in the lunar effect, which is the idea that the shape of the moon has an impact on your behaviour. I don't agree with the logic personally, but I've always been fascinated by the hope the moon elicits. There's that wonderful old adage that the moon illuminates the world without stealing the night. There's also my favourite Bruno Mars song. And it was my favourite Bruno Mars song before TikTok came along, thank you.
I have struggled horribly with insomnia for as long as I can remember and poetry is one of the many things I turn to when I'm having a particularly bad night. This poem was inspired, somewhat hilariously, from Bear in the Big Blue House. At the ending of every episode, Bear would walk out onto the balcony and sing 'The Goodbye Song' with Luna the Moon. After falling down a YouTube rabbit hole and rediscovering the song, I couldn't help but ponder, if only I could talk to the moon and tell her how I felt. The world is a different place for the lonely; to me, it's the most paralysing feeling there is. The inability to relate to others and open up even when you're surrounded by people is a different Everest of frustration and sadness. I seldom discuss the things that truly go through my head at night but I'm proud to say, on the night of May 23rd, 2021, this poem was therapy for me.
The moon told me she was proud of me
Last night when I couldn't sleep
Not counting sheep
But the monsters
Who as a child lived under my bed
And as an adult now nester in my head
In the darkness that I dread
She was luminescent
Sparkling, smiling at me
She was sympathetic
Knowing of my insomnia
And the demons dancing in my room
From my window we talked
Spiralling thoughts she stilled
She listened and replied
Our energy entwined
And through the gaps in my blinds
She continued to shine
Beams reminiscent of hope and second chances
Accompanied walks and twirling dances
And she whispered
As I retreated to the sorrow
I'm here
If you need me tomorrow.
