**trigger warning - alcoholism, sexual assault, baby loss**
Hi everyone! I hope you’re all well and that the month of September has been kind to you. I took an unexpected break last week but I’ve been as active as possible on Instagram. My cousin Serena just got married, and I’m thrilled for her. I also got to be a bridesmaid, which was wonderful. Save for the fact that it was the hottest day of the year, I felt very glamorous!
The month of September has always symbolised new beginnings for me. There’s a change in season, and said change involves the weather getting colder and the days getting shorter. For years growing up I’d tell myself that this was the school year in which I would convince everyone in my year group that I was one of the 'cool' ones, whatever on earth that meant. This never happened, though thankfully, I stopped caring around the time I turned sixteen.
More so than ever I’ve been utilising Audible. Listening to autobiographies and memoirs in the voices of those who have written them makes the experience of listening to the stories so much more enlightening. Back in July I listened to Denise Fergus’ heartbreaking memoir ‘I Let Him Go’, in which she documents the day she lost her son James and what life has been like for her since then. I’m so glad I completed it despite how difficult of a listen it was; I have an endless admiration for Denise and her family and I’m in awe of what she’s accomplished. She has never stopped fighting for justice and simultaneously, has managed to find happiness with her husband and children. It was a privilege to listen to, and to get to know the boy she lost; every chapter was written with her heart on her sleeve and I was in awe of her honesty and vulnerability throughout. Denise’s book was by far the most touching of the memoirs I’ve listened to and or read in the last year and it deserves a category of its own. I won’t be writing an article based on Denise’s book alone but I highly recommend the memoir.
I thought I’d write an article regarding all the celebrity memoirs I’ve engaged in. I talk about my audiobook listens a lot on Instagram but never in great detail. There’s an invisible label attached to celebrity books, a doubt amongst us all as to whether or not they were written by the stars themselves. There’s also a fear amongst bookworms like myself to be caught reading anything that isn’t a sturdy, tedious Dickens classic. Thank Goodness for audiobooks, though after reading and enjoying Paris Hilton’s memoir, I don’t think I’m in a position to judge diehard fans of the Kardashians anymore.
6. Matthew Perry - Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing
Everytime I mention my love for Friends my friend Michael points out to me that the only reason I ever watched the series was because of him constantly telling me to. Thank you, Michael.
The first time I watched the show I was fifteen. It’s been in my life for eight years and I haven’t gotten tired of it. Monica and Chandler are one of my all-time favourite pairings in television and film, the build up of their relationship is so seamless and yet so well thought-out. I touched on my love for their relationship in my Valentine’s Day post.
The ‘Big Terrible Thing’ Matthew Perry refers to in the book title is his struggle with addiction. He’s been open about his struggles to the press for years though the book is far more vulnerable and informative than any tabloid interview. It’s also alarmingly graphic; the book begins with a dive into the deep end of Pain, which Matthew capitalises, as he informs readers from the beginning that he should be dead.
It’s a depressing read beginning to end; there’s a moment where Matthew describes all of his teeth falling out shortly before the Friends reunion, explaining his slurring in the televised event. It’s also very confusing, for Matthew doesn’t tell his story chronoigically. I’m supposing he relied on the infamous stream of consciousness prose to illustrate how his trauma has impacted his memory. Personally, I think it works against the book.
I’d say the best, and worst, part of the memoir is Matthew’s honesty. His treatment of women is outdated and frustrating to read, especially since he lacks the self-awareness to see that his womaniser approach doesn’t work. That said, he acknowledges his wit and good looks. He isn’t arrogant about either traits, nor is he bashfully in denial about them. It’s refreshing to see, and you can’t help but sympathise with him as he laments over not having gotten married and not having children.
I’d give the book 3 out of 5 stars. There were moments in which I was astounded at how much he was willing to share, and other moments where I was frustrated not only for him but his editors - there’s a lot of repetition in the memoir, and a lack of gratefulness when he describes the healthcare he’s received.
5. Prince Harry - Spare
This will anger a lot of you, but I like Meghan Markle. And I like Prince Harry. I've always been acutely aware of how much of the press is fictionalised or at least exaggerated. It alarms me how much people believe what they read. Just this past week, a photo of Harry at a Beyonce concert looking straight-faced was splashed across every paper. People were calling him ungrateful, saying that he shouldn't have attended. In actuality, there are videos of him enjoying the show and dancing with Meghan all over TikTok.
I listened to Harry's book on Audible was surprisingly moved by it - I wrote an article on it in January which you can read here. It's not by any means relatable though his details regarding the royal family and the lifestyle he has been expected to lead are very interesting. To my understanding, it's the first time a member of the royal family has disclosed so much information in such a public way. You can't help but sympathise with Harry and his struggles, all of which were swept under the palace carpets. His details regarding his time in the army are quite tedious to sit through, though I appreciate what he's willing to share.
The prose is exceptionally well-written, ensuring readers remain interested regardless of how monotonous the topics become. Harry's ghostwriter did a good job. Similarly to Matthew Perry's book there are moments where I felt the text was entering unnecessary corners: those viral TikTok sounds are unfortunately, real. That said, the book's wordiness offers an insight into a lifestyle we can only imagine. It's a four out of five.
4. Progress - Lucy Spraggan
I was on a train returning to Birmingham from London back in July when I saw the headline that Lucy Spraggan had quit The X Factor in 2012, in the middle of the live shows, due to be sexually assaulted.
I was a massive fan of The X Factor when it was in its prime. I vividly remembered 2012; it was the year James Arthur won and where Rylan got his start in television. Like the entire world, it seemed, I was charmed by Lucy's performance of Tea and Toast. I have an affinity for storytellers, we all know, especially the ones that tell stories through music. I remember Lucy's departure from the show really well, too; Dermot O'Leary told us she was 'sick', and that she'd be given a pass into the next week. A week later, she pulled out, and I remember the backlash she received. Many accused her of pulling out the show due to the partying she'd participated in with Rylan.
Eleven years later, Lucy revealed she'd been raped. She recounts the harrowing night, telling readers that thanks to Rylan checking in on her, helping her out of her Halloween costume, and locking her hotel door, the monster who hurt her was caught with ease - he was forced to use a traceable key card to enter her room. She documents her heartbreak following the incident and the impact the ordeal had on her later decisions, leaving readers like myself devastated on her behalf. This was the first time I'd cried over a book in years.
Lucy's accounts are painfully raw. She is hyperaware of her mistakes and expresses intense regret at how relationships in her life broke down. She also writes of her frustration at The X Factor team, who failed to protect her. The moment the series ended, their relationship with the singer also came to an end. Nobody from the team checked in on her or offered any support. Years down the line, Simon Cowell called her. He profusely and sincerely apologised for the way she'd been treated and how belated his offer of support was. Whilst many would interpret his actions as machiavellian, Lucy states in the book that by the time the call had arrived, she was able to see behind people's intentions. She trusted Simon was genuinely sorry, and works with him now.
I found Lucy's insights into her relationship with her father particularly interesting. Absent for most of her life, she details the call she receieved from him after he'd heard rumours regarding her real exit from X Factor. It's a minor part of the book, but it devestated me. Her relationship with Rylan is a beacon of light throughout the text also and she expresses an endless gratefulness to him for checking up on her that night and looking out for her. The pair continue to be friends to this day. It's a five star book to me.
3. A Better Me - Gary Barlow
I'm not embarrassed to say that I love Take That and that I had a crush on every single one of them at some point. Gary's writing style is at a pinnacle which I could only dream of reaching, Let Me Go is one of the best-written songs I've ever heard.
Gary's book came up in my Audible recommends and I decided to give it a go, purely because I've always found Gary's voice to be strangely relaxing to listen to. I'm so glad I listened to this text, it's a deeply moving piece of work. Like many of the writers in this article, Gary has the self-awareness to express regret at his treatment of his bandmates at the peak of Take That's fame. His constant need to be at the front and be the best made the failure of his sophomore album to chart an extremely bitter pill to swallow. The depths of the despair he describes are paramount an no amount of savings or fame can save you from it.
Gary describes the depression he endured after Take That's split, at one point sleeping under his piano because he'd felt he'd lost the ability to write songs. He changed his name on his credit card, scared members of the public would recognise him. Seeing his former bandmate reach every pinnacle he'd dreamed of for himself could have only been a gutting experience; for those of you who feel burned out and wasted in your 20's, I'm sure you can empathise when you see people you went to school with succeeding.
The most devastating part of the book was Gary detailing the death of his daughter, Poppy. Years later, he writes that the agony has never left. The daughter he never got to know has never left Gary's mind. I was so moved by the chapter that I wrote my poem The Lost Boy, which you can read here.
2. Paris: The Memoir - Paris Hilton
Without a doubt, this book was the biggest surprise on this list. To think, the only reason I gave it a go was because I saw a TikTok of Jack Edwards reading it.
I reviewed the book in full here but in short, Paris can write. I went into the book thinking it would be disorganised, similar to Matthew Perry's book, but after detailing her ADHD and the impact it has on her decision-making, Paris tells her story in mostly chronological order. The prose is engaging and illustrates the socialite as down to earth. She too is incredibly vulnerable across the page, detailing and lamenting her mistakes and the loved ones she has let down. I was so impressed with the work Paris has put in against the troubled teen industry, especially the boarding school in which staff emotionally and physically abused her. For those of you looking into building a brand for yourself through social media, I highly recommend this book - Paris provides all the guidance you'll need.
1. I'm Glad My Mom Died - Jennette McCurdy
Can we just talk about the title for a second? And the front cover? Jennette is holding up an urn with confetti spilling out of it as opposed to ashes. The symbolism is brilliant.
You can't read this and not be glad Jennette's mother died, too. I wrote an article regarding the text when it first came out, which you can read here, but in short, Jennette's mother was a histrionic narcissist who forced all of her lost dreams upon her daughter. You don't need to be familiar with iCarly to understand the content, though if you were a Nickelodeon fan back in the day, the experience becomes more devastating. I was a massive iCarly fan and I even followed Jennette's music career back in the day (her country album slapped, believe me). Even when Sam & Cat was airing it was obvious to me that the cast weren't totally invested in the show, and Jennette is brutally honest about hating the experience and being desperate for her relationship with Sam Puckett to end. She touches on her relationship with Dan Schneider throughout the text, calling him 'The Creator' throughout, and describes his mood swings and concerning behaviour on set.
The text is a necessary piece of work in that it served as a catalyst; several Disney Channel and Nickelodeon have opened up about their experiences, some of whom worked under the same management as Jennette. Through her dry humour and engaging prose, Jennette has succeeded in starting up a conversation regarding egocentric parents and the impact they have on child stars.
Thanks for reading guys! I'll see you all soon,
Karisma xxx