**trigger warning - abuse**
A lot of people are afraid to admit their investment in celebrity culture. They’ll observe the occasional headline but never confess to flicking through a magazine. TikTok makes those same headlines impossible to avoid; you can swipe them away all you want but if you don’t stay informed, you’ll come across a dozen or so parodies that won’t make sense to you unless you study the source material. You can dodge the humiliation if your celebrity of choice has a respectable podcast or has written a book. If they’ve acted in at least one Shakespeare play, you’re fine. If their names however end in ‘Hilton’ or ‘Kardashian’, people assume that you fantasise over the concept of fame and strive towards a future in which everyone knows you with no care for the reason why. I’m happy to admit that at times, I get invested in this alternative world. Without a doubt, I would beat anyone who isn’t related to Taylor Swift in a Taylor Swift-related test, especially if the topics circulate around her childhood and interviews in 2006. I’ve never watched an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians but I have seen every episode of the SimGM parody (which is hilarious). Paris Hilton is a different one - until November the year before last, I didn’t realise Paris and Perez Hilton were two different people.
I know there are several differences, one of them being that Perez is a man. I’d heard both their names on the odd occasion growing up but I figured they were one person. It’s easy to decipher this isn’t the case but I never dedicated a spare 5 seconds of my time to do so.
My parents own a convenience store and my dad always sends me articles that he picks up on in the papers. Nearly all the pieces he sends across to me pertain to women in their 20’s who have found success down creative avenues. In November 2021 he sent me pictures of Paris Hilton’s wedding, citing her dress as the best wedding gown he’d ever seen. My parents are really invested in weddings and their planning and we watched the online footage of her walking down the aisle that evening.
She looked beautiful. Shortly after this I familiarised myself with who she was, putting her name to the ‘Stars Are Blind’ song which perfectly encapsulates what growing up in the 2000’s felt like. I watched her YouTube documentary, This Is Paris, and felt overwhelming empathy for her; it’s so easy to disregard her as a privileged, uneducated airhead when in actuality, she’s a very intelligent businesswoman. She played a character for years to ensure an audience. Booktuber Jack Edwards recently released a TikTok of him reading her memoir at the Hay Festival, which prompted me to give it a go.
The text is a brutally honest, emotionally moving and inspiring piece of work. Paris begins by detailing her ADHD and how she believes the condition impacts her decisions throughout her memoir. According to research, ADHD leads to fixations on certain topics and objects; Paris is known for her love of animals, especially small dogs. She spent her childhood pocket money on pets and dreamt of becoming a veterinarian, though any chance of this was spoiled after she was sent to Provo Canyon. Paris writes that her behaviour in her teenage years - late night partying and not only failing to adhere to curfew but forgetting to ever tell her parents where she was, led to their decision to send her to behaviour modification camps. Paris believes her decisions were a result of her condition, her want to go into modelling and believing paparazzi photos were the first step into entering the industry and being young. Her lifelong best friend Nicole Richie faced a similar reception at home.
Unbelievably, the Hilton’s arranged for Paris to be kidnapped from her bed in the middle of the night as a teenager prior to her transportation to the first behavioural modification camp. Kathy and Richard have since done interviews addressing their decision in which they maintain that they were ‘saving’ their daughter. This particular traumatising event is one of many that contributes to the insomnia Paris struggles with in the current day; she writes that she wishes she could take a camera with her in her dreams so people knew how much she suffers at night. Her first camp visit took place before the September 11th attacks; after her kidnappers drove her to an airport, the airport staff didn’t ask many questions and the group were free to go through security seamlessly. Upon arrival, Paris was searched and told to hand in her shoes and clothes. In turn, she received pink sweats, a pivotal moment, for Paris acknowledges that she’s always managed to make wonders happen with the colour. Shoes were a privilege that she’d have to earn.
Amongst the institutions Paris was sent to in her teenage years is Provo Canyon School which unthinkably, is still open today. The ‘school’ is located in Utah and according to its most recent Google reviews, it hasn’t changed since the late 90’s. Paris writes of the horrific occasions when the male staff would physically and sexually abuse her, force-feed her medication and put her in solitary confinement. Phone privileges had to be earnt, and when Paris was granted hers, she wept to her mother and attempted to tell her about the abuse she was enduring. Her mother didn’t believe her, and the conversation was cut short by a member of staff listening in.
Paris succeeded in running away from these institutions on multiple occasions, crediting her late-night partying and sneaking back home with providing her with all the tactics she needed. On every occasion however, she was found. After every attempt, it seemed her parents become more hellbent on keeping her locked away. She writes of an instance where she lockdd herself up in telephone booth only for a policeman to approach her as she dialed a number for help. Believing the law enforcement would help her, she followed them, only to be sent back to the institution and for the staff to use her as an example of what occurs when you misbehave. On one occasion, she escaped to an acquaintance who lived locally and took a classmate with her. Paris claims that she doesn’t remember her name, noting that she was a timid, petite character, and refers to her as ‘Mouse’. They initially escape together, until a friend contacts Paris and tells her that they’re happy to host her, so long as she doesn’t bring Mouse along. In the end, Paris took Mouse out to a diner, left her with all the money she had and escaped. To this day, she feels immense guilt regarding her actions.
To distract herself, Paris would pass the time imagining and planning what her empire would look like. It’s safe to say she succeeded, but I’m not saying she didn’t have a springboard. She was and still is incredibly privileged: her surname alone was a step ahead for her. Regardless, Paris spent time planning her future fragrance line and what her signature style would be known as. I’ve never watched an episode of The Simple Life though Paris describes the publicity she achieved so intensely I may as well be living in the early 2000’s. Around the show’s premiere however, her sex tape was released.
I’m so grateful for the shift our society has had regarding what can only be described as revenge porn. Tulisa underwent a similar ordeal about 10 years ago and I remember it being all over the press. Several journalists were blaming her because back then, it was a woman’s fault. Why exactly? All they did was have sex with a guy they were in a relationship with. Where was the blame for the individual who manipulated the woman into making the film and then proceeded to post it on the internet? And make money off it? Paris writes of the day she discovered the tape had leaked and despairing, citing that she blamed herself for loving and trusting the man who did it. She had internally planned during her time at Provo Canyon how exactly she wanted to build her brand - a scandal was never part of the strategy, and she was heartbroken at how many people approached her believing it was deliberate. She agonises over the tape to this day, devastated that the stigma would be waiting for her future children to grow up around. Away from home, Paris travelled back to see her parents immediately after the leak. After a woman asked Paris why she was crying on the plane, she confessed what had happened and how she was feeling. Her ‘first ever interview post-sex tape' was all over the tabloids the next day. Paris believes the woman’s children got a fine college education at her expense.
Paris makes astonishing revelations throughout the rest of the memoir. Like many members of Hollywood, she suffered a clash at the hands of Harvey Weinstein, who took it upon himself to follow her into a woman’s restroom and drunkenly bang on her cubicle door. She maintains that she adores her parents and forgives them for sending her away; having seen the crimes against women travelling home at night, she understands their distress whenever she failed to answer their phone calls. Her sister Nicky, known for her dislike of the spotlight that follows Paris around, is her closest confidant and best friend. She also details meeting her now-husband Carter and the fertility issues she encountered post-marriage; her treatments were met with little success, and Paris writes of her sadness at seeing her sister Nicky carry a baby to full term.
I don’t believe there’s a person who wouldn’t find a part of the memoir relatable, be that with the mental health struggles Paris describes or her heartbreak at being misunderstood. I found myself rooting for Paris throughout, delighted when she met her husband and found happiness with him. She is hyperaware of her faults and expresses genuine remorse for her mistakes, asking readers to not feel sympathy for her.
It’s hard not to, though. And that’s the mark of a good book.
Thanks for reading everyone! I hope you're all well.
Have a great day,
Karisma xxx